...And this band is playing like hell tonight...
October 17, 2002 | 3:40 p.m.
I went to see Dashboard last night in Montreal (in the rain slash snow)(more on that later, I'll have pictures) and I've noticed that every time I go to a show there's always the same people there.
So let's talk about these people. There's just too much anger to keep inside. They fall into different categories and no matter who you go to see you will always be able to find someone that fits each of these descriptions. Or people who are mixtures of more than one description (the most annoying). So the title of this list is:
1. The Jacob Girls: we all know them, we all hate them. These are the girls with the black spandex tank tops, perfectly applied makeup, perfectly streaked blonde hair, and stuck-up attitudes. They give off the aura of "I shop at Jacob, not Jacob Annexe" and go to shows trying to be cool. They laugh at people when they don't have lighters even though they are too dumb to figure out that they'll eventually need something to light up the weed they brought to make them more cool than they "already are." They drop like flies after the weed doesn't agree with their pencil thin bodies and their friends act like they're concerned but they do nothing other than be "concerned". Oh, and they have the high annoying voices and like to scream.
2. The Drinkers: these are the people who figure that if they're going to drink they might as well do it at a show. Ok, fine. But if you're going to push your way to the front because you're already half gone, smell of alcohol, and then spill beer on people...just don't.
3. The Haters: if you "hate" the band, don't waste your money on a ticket. It's as simple as that. No like, no buy. And further more don't push your way to the front to make fun of the band and the people who are enjoying their performance. Note: to keep up your hater appearance maybe you should try not singing along to the songs. Because you know, people might actually think you came to enjoy yourself. Gasp.
4. The Spastic Dancer: this one doesn't really annoy me as much as the others. But if for some reason you want to rock when everyone else (everyone else) is politely listening then go ahead. Just try to keep it in your own area and not disturb the people beside you.
5. The Smoker: this one's kinda self-explanatory. If you're going to smoke, even though it's illegal to, at least have the decency to not get ashes in people's hair.
6. The Gropers: the guys who feel it necessary to be pressed against you when the band hasn't even come on yet. In Sam's situation: if you can feel him breathe, he's too close.
7. The Obsessed "Fan": The "biggest" fan in the crowd. The one who knows "everything" about the band and "every" lyric to every song. The one who feels they're more important than everyone in the crowd because of this. You're annoying, stay at home.
8. The Singers: singing doesn't bother me. It's the people who scream lyrics that annoy me. I know it's Dashboard and everyone is supposed to sing but do not scream when Chris is singing quietly. Especially if you are the Jacob Girls with high annoyingly pitched voices.
9. The Tall Boys: I know, I know, they can't help it. But if you're seven feet tall and have shoulders the size of Kentucky, don't stand front center. And don't bring 5 of your equally tall friends with you and stand in line.
10. The Compulsive Picture Taker: this one is my category. We have cameras with zoom and black & white film. Our flash is blinding and we need to get the perfect shot. We will stop at nothing to take a whole roll of film and we don't care if taking pictures takes away from the enjoyment of the show. But man, when you see our pictures...
...pulled along :: pulled apart...
